Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
