he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
