so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
