Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
