OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
