No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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