"it" just moved
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
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