what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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