I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
