I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
