he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I am mentally ready for anal.
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