when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
