We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
