You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
It's rum buckets o'clock
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
