she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize
