why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
