i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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