why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
