Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
