Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
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