My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I have tasted many bathrooms
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
