Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
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