no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
