I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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