There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Your penis caused this!
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