nut hugger
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i jhust puked up my retainher.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
