I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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