:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
This baby is an asshole
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
