If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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