Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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