I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
