it wasn't lemon gatorade
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
