so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
