shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
