well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
I pour the whiskey from now on
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
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