weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
