remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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