we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
