wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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