go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
