My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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