Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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