Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
