Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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