if one more of _____'s family tells me "you're next" i'm going to shoot myself. Thank god for gin (most protestant phrase ever at the most Jewish wedding ever)
Ask for a julep and start talking about how you much prefer the uncircumsized peen. that should probably stop them.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
