and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
