the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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