Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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