Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
