I'm really into asian looking animals
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
